Based on previous blog posts, and recent struggles, I’ve been thinking of and been delusional about impermanence. A thought popped into my head, maybe it was a slight awakening, or better yet, an understanding. The thought can be summed up in this quote that has been rattling in my brain, I’d say there were a source for the quote but I believe it was from my own mind.
“Death is not something that happens in the future,
death is something that happens in the present.”
I’ve been thinking so much about death, like it’s coming right around the corner. It’s been a morbid thought pattern I haven’t been able to break, until now. Understanding the fact I am obsessed and worrying to much about it is creating an abundance of suffering, not only for myself but for those around me.
I told myself, and others, that this past weekend may be the last on that we have with my father. Of course I was dwelling on the future, instead of enjoying the present moment that we were encountering. I was so obsessed with what would happen rather than what was happening.
I keep reminding myself that if I don’t just pay attention to everything happening around me, right now, I not only will be missing other things happening, but at the same time may be pushing others away. Not only that, but I am creating suffering in others by making them worry as well.
So, yes this post is short, I plan to live the words above and stop obsessing about what is going to happen. Instead, it’ll be about what IS happening, right now.
From The St. Petersburg Times
Some of the hospice patients talk about their impending deaths, or about God. Most just talk about what people always talk about — unfinished business and unanswered questions: regrets over firing an employee 50 years ago; the pet no one has yet promised to adopt; feeling sick to death of being sick yet not ready to die. About Bach. “How did he dream up that music?” one woman asks.
Listening to final inquiries like these has long been the domain of a family priest or rabbi. But for a growing number of Americans who do not know a member of the clergy, that bedside auditor is increasingly likely to belong to an emerging professional class known in the hospice world as a pastoral counselor or chaplain, who may or may not be a clergy member.
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… are things, like the photo below, allowed to happen? No one life is more important than the next, but who the hell kills a monk? How many more are dead? How many demonstrators have really been killed? Where are the rest of them? What type of monster have we humans become? I am sickened to my stomach, bleeding in my heart and angry as hell! Something needs to be done NOW!!!
The world needs to rally behind the Burmese people, or this senseless killing will continue. The envoy from the UN is there right now and it HAS NOT STOPPED! India and China, you should be ashamed of yourselves!
Sorry for the graphic photo, but everyone needs to see the reality of the situation, and this is it!
It’s a rare thing to ask you all for help, but I really need it. Last night I got some news, my best friend, whom I’ve known since Junior High School, passed away this week. I am absolutely crushed. I try to keep many friends, but few are as close as this person was. I’ve had death’s around me before, but I have not been affected as much as I am by his passing. This person was such a light in my life and it feels like the light has gone out. Almost every memory I have through my teenage years and beyond have my friend in them.
I realize, being a Buddhist, how important the teachings of impermanence are, but it is very difficult right now. I’m not bitter, or spiteful at anyone, just feeling a great sense of loss and I feel like I am smothering with grief. How do you really deal with something like this? Has this happened to you and if so, how did you get over it? I don’t feel like I can, I know I will, but right now the grief is overwhelming. Please help and give me some advice.