Walking on Water

Unknown Author, found on the interwebs somewhere!

Three monks decided to practice meditation together. They sat by the side of a lake and closed their eyes in concentration. Then, suddenly, the first one stood up and said, “I forgot my mat.” He stepped miraculously onto the water in front of him and walked across the lake to their hut on the other side.

When he returned, the second monk stood up and said, “I forgot to put my other underwear to dry.” He too walked calmly across the water and returned the same way.

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The monastery (more Buddhist humor)

There once was a monastery that was very strict. Following a vow of silence, no one was allowed to speak at all. But there was one exception to this rule. Every ten years, the monks were permitted to speak just two words. After spending his first ten years at the monastery, one monk went to the head monk. “It has been ten years,” said the head monk. “What are the two words you would like to speak?”

“Bed… hard…” said the monk.

“I see,” replied the head monk.

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Buddhist dog prays for worldly desires

dog.jpgFrom AFP – Buddhists clasp their palms together to pray for enlightenment, but Conan, a chihuahua, appears to have more worldly motivations.

The dog has become a popular attraction at a Japanese temple after learning to imitate the worshippers around him.

“Conan started to pose in prayer like us whenever he wanted treats,” said Joei Yoshikuni, a priest at Jigenin temple on the southern island of Okinawa.

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BEWARE – Buddhist Viruses are Lurking on the Web

Professor Richard P. Hayes of McGill University in Canada has compiled a list of known viruses inhabiting Buddhist’s computers. These viruses have been around for thousands of years and they even defy the skills of McAffey. You can visit Professor Hayes at http://www.unm.edu/~rhayes and http://home.comcast.net/~dayamati

THERAVADA TERROR (often packaged in a seemingly innocuous file known as BHIKKHU.BUG): operates by giving ordination to your computer’s CPU. While relatively harmless during the morning hours, this virus has the effect of making your computer refuse to intake or process any hard data after noon.

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