Based on previous blog posts, and recent struggles, I’ve been thinking of and been delusional about impermanence. A thought popped into my head, maybe it was a slight awakening, or better yet, an understanding. The thought can be summed up in this quote that has been rattling in my brain, I’d say there were a source for the quote but I believe it was from my own mind.
“Death is not something that happens in the future,
death is something that happens in the present.”
I’ve been thinking so much about death, like it’s coming right around the corner. It’s been a morbid thought pattern I haven’t been able to break, until now. Understanding the fact I am obsessed and worrying to much about it is creating an abundance of suffering, not only for myself but for those around me.
I told myself, and others, that this past weekend may be the last on that we have with my father. Of course I was dwelling on the future, instead of enjoying the present moment that we were encountering. I was so obsessed with what would happen rather than what was happening.
I keep reminding myself that if I don’t just pay attention to everything happening around me, right now, I not only will be missing other things happening, but at the same time may be pushing others away. Not only that, but I am creating suffering in others by making them worry as well.
So, yes this post is short, I plan to live the words above and stop obsessing about what is going to happen. Instead, it’ll be about what IS happening, right now.