Seems at times, especially lately, like the world is falling apart around me. Life and death are so intermingled, creating massive suffering. I feel completely and utterly beat down.
A schoolmate, who I haven’t seen in years, was tragically taken this past weekend. While walking down the street, the details are still unclear, an accident happened and she was struck by a motorist. This has caused a deep pain in my heart and, for lack of a better word, soul. She left behind not only sisters and other family members, but an 11 and 14 year old child.
Today, while I know I shouldn’t have worried to much about it, I checked to see what tributes and words people had left on her Facebook page. Her children had left some messages for her and I fell apart.
There I was, on lunch break, in my work van, weeping like I’d never weeped before. Visions and situations played out in my head. The things I take for granted every single f-ing moment became clear.
I learned it’s time to stopping f-ing around and take inventory of the things around me that are important. Because, if I don’t, life is way to short to not do so. I am grateful to those that have impacted my life in any way and wish I could repay your kindness.
Meh, this blog post is rather pitiful sounding, but man, impermanence is kicking the snot out of me these past few years. Just when things are getting little bit better *BAM* there’s another one. I understand, it’s the way things are, everything is impermanent but man, enough already!
Sorry to vent to much here, once I get a clear head I’ll post something that might make a lick more sense, till then…