The Religious Right won a major victory today against secular schools by getting prayer allowed in school. Going against the separation of church and state, a basic fundamental law in the U.S., the religionists finally got their toe in the door towards conforming the whole school system towards their dogmatic beliefs.
Their insistence on prayer in school soon backfired on them, however, as it also allowed all other religions to pray in their own fashion as well. Classes are now disrupted 5 times a day for Muslims to spread their prayer rugs and bow toward Mecca. Buddhist sects spin their prayers wheels and rattles in their devotional time disturbing classes.
Rather messy are the African animists who have a daily ritual of sacrificing an animal to their gods during prayers, although the meat is then given over to the cafeteria which does help cut down food costs. Hindu practitioners have their alloted time for ‘Aum’ chants which the schools have been trying to fit into choir practice with mixed results.
More difficult to schedule are the Sufi whirling dervishes whose twirling dances bring them to a mystical ‘union with God’. Some schools have successfully fit them into the physical education slot.
All of this unforeseen religious freedom has the Christian fundamentalists fuming. They, of course, insist that the freedom of prayer in school meant only Christian prayer, not everyone else’s. Unfortunately, this freedom is interpreted by law as freedom for ALL religions.
Especially irksome to them are the Satanists, whose blood rituals during prayer also have school nurses worried.
The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.